Saying Goodbye

For those of you - like I - who missed the '60s because you were still teething, or maybe just a gleam in someone's eye at the time...perhaps you were lucky enough to have an older boyfriend, or parents who listened to the Grateful Dead. I was able to get in some really good live shows in before Jerry Garcia died. This is the memorial service at Golden Gate Park that marked his end...and what a long, strange trip it was. I have hundreds of slides from this event, I just wanted to get something up until I have the time to pick through them and get the really great ones up.

I remember waking up that morning - it was a gorgeous day and one I would normally have spent in the park watching my lover at the time play rugby with his team while I grabbed some sun. That particular morning he didn't have practice, and he didn't want to go. He rarely went on assignments with me anyway (not my style to have a lover tagging along), but this wasn't just any assignment. And it was that morning when I couldn't get him out of bed that something changed. Basically, I knew I was getting bored...funny word to describe the end of a "lust affair," but oh well, what can I say? His beautiful looks, endearing French accent, his exquisite sexual prowess, good heart and his professional rugby skills could only go so far before I faced the fact that he wasn't a technologist. I couldn't share with him a new quantum physics theory I would come across in the Los Angeles Times on Sunday morning, or discuss who would be taking over the cell phone industry any given week.

So when I rolled out of bed that morning I knew instinctively to pick up my toothbrush and things that would mean "exchanging" trivial belongings after a passionate affair. I kissed him goodbye with a bit more meaning that day. I would miss his dog - he had a great Frisbee collie. Anyhow, it seemed like a good day to mark the end of stuff and to celebrate walking away as well.

And while I was out shooting that day and soaking everything in - the music, the community, the people - I happened to find a really great guy whom I kept in my life for a few weeks, but that's another story. That's kind of how Dead events go - it's like that Even Steven Jerry Seinfeld episode where if Jerry loses something it comes back in another way. And to me it felt like that's what kind of day it was for everyone - we may have lost Jerry (although he lives on through his music and his inspiration to other musicians who carry on), but I think people who were there that day brought something away that day as well.