Of Congressmen & Wedding Dresses

You ain't nothin’ but a hound dog cryin' all the time.
You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog cryin' all the time.
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.
When they said you was high classed, well, that was just a lie.
When they said you was high classed, well, that was just a lie.
You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.

Hound Dog

What a busy few weeks… Lots of stuff going on. The Wild Women of Wonder Club has really kicked off with weeknights at The World Internet Center and Poker Game night down at the BBC. And Saturday mornings at Buck’s — that gets wild. What a great time we’ve had!

Tonight Mai Dembowski, a very cool and talented woman of the Web, and I ended up in Palo Alto at the World Internet Center at the Stanford Barn and had a great time listening to Juan Carlos Soto, group product marketing manager working on JXTA. P2P is coming and I’m glad it’s Sun at the helm. I can hardly wait until my one P2P company starts making some noise so I can tell you all about them…until then, NDAs prohibit me from getting too excited in public. The P2P talk was very cool and I look forward to attending WIC again. We switched our poker night to Wednesday so that we could start going on Thursday. Well, except for this Thursday, when we’ll have Po Bronson as the Guest Man. It’ll be interesting to hear what he wishes for, we’ll keep you posted.

So after the beer was all gone and the wine was down to a trickle, Mai went on a blind date and she decided to take me along on… We went down to Coppola’s place and met up with the cool guy — he was a semiconductor guy, really loved the guy, but the industry is going through some heinous shifts and he is one of the founders of the company…. Scary times ahead when both Intel and AMD are heading south. Whatever happened to Moore’s Law – the most overrated guideline in history? Oh well. Our date had to leave at 9:30 because of an early morning meeting — but we had a very interesting chat about life and love and there was this really talented singer there, his voice was that of an angel having an orgasm (as in Michael, not the little cherubs), man he could hit some notes! But I felt like the camera guy on Blind Date. Watching this unfold in front of me I felt like narrating. We’ve now decided that we’ll take the entire club out on dates from now on… seems like a fun idea in theory. We’ll run it past the rest of the club on Saturday.

We started talking about my research on the Internet porn book and I suggested they both visit www.AdultFriendFinder.com — you have to check this site out! It’s the largest online sex classifieds site (that’s what it bills itself as). This is a site with people at their sleaziest — practically everyone has a naked pic in their profile and you should see the listings for groups and couples! If you ever find yourself feeling sad and desperate, go visit this site. It’ll make you smile ear to ear knowing there is hope in this world.

The topic of the night — how do you know when it’s time to get married? Well, our date sounded so sure that he knew the answer (he had been married for 22 years), but it didn’t last, so I said maybe we should be asking someone who was still married. I also disqualified myself, because I always knew I didn’t want to be married, I could have been engaged and much happier. I’m the poster child for what happens when someone has cold feet and has too many valium and too much champagne in the limo on the way to the wedding. I had every intention of fleeing — especially upon walking down the aisle and seeing the dead rat in the reflection pool — sometimes oracles can’t even help you at that point. My bridesmaid kept prodding me on whispering the mantra, “You can always get an annulment.” I guess sometimes it takes saying vows to one man to realize you’re in love with another. I think I'm the only woman I know who received a marriage proposal at her wedding reception.... OOPS. Ahhhh...the complexities of young love. But it was one hell of a party. The lesson learned — listen to your gut and stick with it.

Engagement is always the best part of the relationship, I’ve been engaged many times and it is always bliss. Engagement is good. Paperwork is bad. As a matter of fact, we’ve decided to add Burning Bridesmaid to the Burning Bride program for Burning Man next year. We’re gathering 100 women and 100 bridesmaids for some great performance art in the desert where we’re going to torch those dresses like palm trees in a firestorm. We’re getting pre-documentary footage together now and will be releasing it as a film. It’s meant to be used as a tool for when you know your best girlfriend shouldn’t be getting married. Hey, I would have paid good money for something like this…. Burning Bride 2002, it’s going to be a blast! Let us know if you know someone with a dress in the closet who would like to burn it in effigy. We’ll also have a bunch of single guys there (hundreds) to console them!!!

How about that idiot congressman? Can you say, “completely fucked”? Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. I was kind of glad to see Nancy Pelosi go down with him (I guess I could have chosen my words more carefully — I really didn’t need that visual), I never did like her Marin politics AND for her to take a stand with a guy getting so much extracurricular nooky AND who went against Clinton so publicity during his intern issues. Let’s just say I really question the rest of her judgments now. Take two down for the price of one. So, now they’ve pulled some kind of evidence out of his house, and are now requesting DNA. I saw his stewardess mistress (why don’t they ever have affairs with PhDs? This is a rhetorical question) on TV this morning saying that he should agree to a lie detector test…interesting how involved she is in this. I don’t sense that she’s bitter more than the obvious fact that she’s bucking for a TV gig or a Playboy spread (good luck with that one sweetie!).

The Wild Women of Wonder seem to have their chips in on his wife being involved (curious how silent she’s been during this whole thing), I on the other hand think it was a one man request with some help thrown in from outside resources. The funny thing? I wrote this screenplay a number of years ago where a congressman’s henchman was ordered to take out the congressman’s own daughter who had gotten pregnant and the hit man kept botching the job and trying to take out more people and make it look like a copy cat of a serial killer…. Seems so fictional compared to what I feel is about to unravel. Personally, I think the guy’s going to eat a gun before things go too much further, but that’s only my opinion.

With all of this excitement — and the local trial of that guy in Palo Alto accused of killing his wife because she told him the father of their child was someone he supposedly knew she was having sex with…. I think we’ll get some interesting kink out of this trial. Never a dull moment in Silicon Valley. My life has been so boring compared to all of this excitement going on around us. What would we do without scandals, makes me feel almost normal.

Have a fabulous Friday the 13th!!!!!